“Gesucht: Buchhalter/in in TZ für ca. 10 Std. pro Woche”

Diese Anzeige hatte ich letzten Donnerstag gegen Mittag auf Craig’s List gepostet und bis Freitagabend schon knapp 150 Bewerbungen bekommen. Wow!

Zeigt her euer (neudeutsches bzw. altamerikanisches) skill set. Also eine Kombination von Ausbildung, fachlicher Qualifikation, Umsetzung und Erfahrung sowie (zwischen-)menschlichen Fähigkeiten und Fertigkeiten.

Erste Beobachtung: es ist immer wieder verblüffend, wie viele Menschen einfach gerne ihren Lebenslauf streuen (als ob es nicht genug social networks gäbe). Wir suchen eine/n BUCHHALTER/IN! Jemanden mit Freude am Umgang mit Zahlen, eher unkreativ, dafür aber genau und sorgfältig.

Nicht jedoch:
Guy: “Now, this sounds like a fun project!”
Hanna: “Proficient in disaster recovery. Counseled population affected by the World Trade Center disaster on 9/11.”
Roberto: “Strong Communication Skills in Portuguese.”
Melody: “Taking seafood orders off the voicemail from “high maintenance” Chefs from various backgrounds.”
Anshu Radhika: “Made it to the top 5 as a contestant in the Miss India Fiji Pageant 2006.”
Melba Wotherspoon: “Going an extra mile is simply a way to show that I do care about my client’s needs.”
Anabelle: “Providing excellent customer service skills by taking orders from customers, making the ice cream orders like cones, shakes and floats, passing out the food, keeping facility clean by wiping down tables and sweeping.”
Yang Fu (Angela): “57-Year-Old Mom Looks 25.”
Johnny: “…and I am excited about the idea of working for a dynamic, nationally recognized investment management firm.”
Sharlene: “Responsible for daily milk reporting.”
Debra: “I’ve  worked both for Pain Management as well Plastic Surgery.”
Bonnie: “Extensive knowledge of required paperwork, including but not limited to, death certificate filings and burial permits in each county, also, preparation of deceased individual for both funeral and burial.”
Guy: “My years of practical experience using PhotoShop will save on training time.”
Pascal: “Water polo Youth Coach in Switzerland and Founder and President of the International Food Club”
Judy: “HOBBIES: Glee, Journey, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Travel Deal Finding: EX: 5 Days, 4 Nights Air + Hotel to Oahu for 2 people roughly $718.43”
Tetyana: “Kids choir conductor, Sunday school teacher, counselor and coordinator for church kids camp, youth choir member, crafts class leader/coordinator, church decoration lead team member.”
Mark: “I am an avid reader; generally reading education books particularly related to traditional Chinese medicine, martial arts and dietary therapy.  I have trained/taken classes in tui na, thai massage, tai qi, ba gua, hsing yi, qi gong and kajukenbo. To start saving you money immediately, I would be willing to do the work for less than you advertised.”

Immerhin, der eine oder die andere hatten irgendwann im Leben schon mit Buchhaltung zu tun:
Anthony: “I previously worked as an engineer in the semiconductor industry and I reinvented myself last 2008 in the accounting profession.”
Lynn: “My Objective: To obtain a challenging part-time Accountant position.”
Linda: “I have associate degrees in both Business Administration and Interior Design.”
Ami: “I also have many soft-skills that are unique and rare, especially for an accountant. I bring a cheerful attitude to work and have a true desire to help others.”
Dat: “The Accounting position you are offering is the perfect job for me. I am  great with numbers and loves to interact. The best qualities about myself are that I am quick on my feet and is a hard worker. Most of the time I am so focus in my work that I forget about my lunch. I am also loyal to my employer.”
Chantal, age 24: “Throughout my studies and recent work experience, I have gained valuable understanding and wisdom encompassing all aspects in business and in life. My interests are: Stock Market, Entrepreneur Books and Wrist Watches.”
Charisse: “Proficient in Light bookkeeping.”

Für wieder andere liegt unser Büro einfach geschickt am Weg:
Christopher: “Dear Hiring Investor: I have experience in each of the areas in which you are seeking expertise; additionally, I do get to the Bay Area on and around the weekends.”
Frank: “I would like to apply this position. The reasons are (1) I live in Belmont, 15-minute drive to your firm. It’s convenience for both of us for the work. (2) I am currently developing a biopharma venture; it’s ideal to have a one-day part time job and extra income that fuel back to my venture development.”

Manche scheinen nett zu sein
La Tasha: “Perceived by owner to be as a pleasant apprentice.”
(Cynthia) Zhixin: “Considered to be most knowledgeable in effective communication and peaceful resolutions out of new hire class of 25.”
Trincy: “I desire to be an asset to your establishment.”

und folgsam
Jennifer: “Performed duties as assigned by manager.”

oder sehr beflissen
Pushpa: “Best time to contact: Anytime. I am available immediately for a new project. I have my Green Card.”

und ganz besonders interessant.
ReneeAnn: “I am extremely interesting in the position!”

Was Joel und Janet umtreibt, kann ich nicht genau einschätzen:
Joel: “I’m a life-long San Franciscan with stints in Oakland and Burlingame, son of an SF cop and his high-school sweetheart. I have a lovely wife of 14 years (a retired ballerina) with a twelve year old son, a straight A student and budding violinist, who’s in the seventh grade.”
Janet: (font Lucida handwriting, mehrfarbig, die Dreipunktesetzung ist von ihr, nicht von mir) “I am in receipt of your advertisement… I am knowledgeable of Feng Shui and practice it in my life. I’ve done two business plans:  The Patronage Project…a solution for the mental health; and Accountability…we’re here to fill the GAAP. I can get a lot done with my extensive background…”

Da scheint mir Stacey schon genauer zu wissen, was sie will: “I am looking for a position that keeps me extremely busy throughout the day!”

30 sind übriggeblieben, für die erste engere Wahl. Für Morgen. Denn wie verabschiedete sich Lisa in ihrer e-mail so treffend?

“Have a renewing day.” (Wer wollte das nicht?)